Raising the BARR – Week ending 3 January 2020

Raising the Barr

Crystal Ball Predictions For 2020

In a column that should come with a warning “dangerous content” label, it is that time of the year when I gaze into my Crystal Ball to see what is in store for the year ahead.  If you don’t want to know what the future holds, then reading this column should be no problem at all.  However if you don’t appreciate a little bit of tongue in cheek humour then please don’t go past this point.

I can see that in 2020 we will have several Hollywood and music industry stars die from drug overdoses which will come as a shock to all.  I can see that various athletes will be found to be drug cheats and that football players in various codes will be charged with violence in public spaces, both of which will devastate the sporting communities and have those in charge making a solemn vow to eradicate the problems.

I can see political turbulence both within NSW and America.  In NSW I can see a new Premier taking the reins from Gladys.  In America I can see an orange guy with funny hair in handcuffs telling Police that the charges and the evidence are all fake but he actually uses the term “ne nastoyashchiye” which is Russian for “fake”.

Still on the global politics front, I can see North Korea moving to democratic elections, I can see Northern Ireland and Scotland both voting to leave the United Kingdom and closer to home I can see some bloke in  baseball cap apologising to his “pacific Island neighbours” for taking no action on climate change.

I also see that 2020 will be the year when the CIA finally admits that they were responsible for the death of JFK and that they abducted Elvis and keep him purely for concerts at their end of year Christmas bash.  The CIA will also reveal the evidence that proves that aliens are walking amongst us and that they built the pyramids.

Global scientists will also acknowledge that the earth is flat and that if you get too close to the edge of the horizon, you might just fall off.  So boaters, please be careful.

On a far far more serious note, and coming back to reality, the Bureau of Meteorology is not predicting too much rain in 2020, so we all need to brace ourselves for worsening droughts, hot dry days and higher chances of fire.  Please take care.

Reflecting on Crystal Ball Predictions for 2019

Turns out my Crystal Ball must have been a little bit foggy last year, because not much came true.  We did not get a new Prime Minister or Premier and the American President did not go to jail in 2019 (watch this space).

Also, it turns out that large companies did not admit that they had been dodging their tax responsibilities and the banks only gave a faux apology and did not remove all fees and charges by way of apology.

And finally, the climate did not return to normal despite all of those really smart politician type people and climate change deniers telling us that it would and because the climate didn’t go back to “normal” Kiribati continues to be consumed by the ocean as sea levels rise because and still no one says sorry.